When God Disappoints

Understanding the Delays and the Refusal of Our Prayers

Every one of us knows someone we feel did not deserve what happened to them.

Someone who prayed and still lost the person they loved. Someone who loved God, yet died too soon. Someone whose sickness persisted despite many prayers. Or perhaps we have experienced it ourselves.

At times like these, we cry out over what feels like the unfairness of life. The pain can be difficult even to articulate. We ask questions. We express disappointment. And at the extreme, some people walk away from the faith altogether, asking,

“How can there be a God if this is the outcome?”

What do we do when we pray, and the answer does not come?

What do we do when God seems silent?

And what do we do when the answer appears to be no?

There is no better place to take these questions than the Bible.

Let's explore some of the ways God responds to the cries and prayers of His people.

Interestingly, Scripture does not give us one single pattern for how God responds to prayer.

When the Answer Comes Quickly

There is Hagar, alone in the wilderness with her son Ishmael. Their water was gone, and Hagar could not bear to watch her son die. She moved away from him, sat down and wept.

God heard the boy. An angel called to Hagar from heaven and told her not to be afraid. Then God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water. (Genesis 21:14–19)

There is Samson, standing between the pillars of the Philistine temple at the end of his life. He called upon God:

“O Lord God, remember me, I pray thee, and strengthen me, I pray thee, only this once…”

(Judges 16:28, KJV)

And God gave him strength.

Then there is Abraham's servant, sent to find a wife for Isaac.

Standing beside a well, he prayed for a specific sign by which he would recognize the woman God had chosen.

“And it came to pass, before he had done speaking, that, behold, Rebekah came out…”

(Genesis 24:15, KJV)

He had not even finished praying.

These are only a few examples. Scripture abounds with stories of people who cried to God and received an answer quickly.

When God Answers in Unexpected Ways

When Jacob learned that Esau was approaching him with four hundred men, he was terrified. Years earlier, Jacob had fled from Esau after taking his blessing. Now he prayed:

“Deliver me, I pray thee, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau: for I fear him…”

(Genesis 32:11, KJV)

Jacob prayed for deliverance.

But when the brothers finally met, Esau did not attack him:

“And Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck, and kissed him: and they wept.”

(Genesis 33:4, KJV)

Jacob had prayed to survive the encounter. Instead, he received an embrace.

Then there were the Israelites at the Red Sea.

After leaving Egypt, the Israelites found themselves with the Red Sea before them and Pharaoh and his army approaching from behind.

“…they were sore afraid: and the children of Israel cried out unto the LORD.”

(Exodus 14:10, KJV)

God answered. The waters divided, and the Israelites went through the sea on dry ground. (Exodus 14:15–22)

Again, Scripture abounds with stories of God answering prayers in remarkable and unexpected ways.

When We Have to Wait

When Miriam was struck with leprosy, Moses cried:

“Heal her now, O God, I beseech thee.”

(Numbers 12:13, KJV)

The prayer was clear: heal her now.

But the answer was not now.

God instructed that Miriam remain outside the camp for seven days. Israel waited, and only after the seven days was Miriam brought back into the camp. (Numbers 12:14–15)

Then there was Elijah.

After three years of drought, Elijah went to the top of Mount Carmel, bowed himself down upon the earth and prayed. Then he sent his servant to look toward the sea.

The servant returned with the report:

“There is nothing.”

(1 Kings 18:43, KJV)

Elijah told him to go again.

Seven times the servant went to look. On the seventh time, he returned and reported that a small cloud was rising out of the sea. Soon the sky grew dark with clouds and wind, and there was a great rain. (1 Kings 18:42–45)

Then there was Daniel.

Daniel had been praying and mourning for three weeks when an angel came to him.

Only then did Daniel learn something he could not possibly have known while he was waiting:

“Fear not, Daniel: for from the first day that thou didst set thine heart to understand… thy words were heard…”

(Daniel 10:12, KJV)

His prayer had been heard from the first day.

The following verse gives us a glimpse of something else Daniel could not see: the messenger had been resisted for twenty-one days before Michael came to help him. (Daniel 10:13)

While Daniel was waiting on earth, there were things happening that he knew nothing about.

And then there was Job.

Job was described as an upright man who feared God. God Himself said there was none like him on earth. (Job 1:1, 8)

Yet in a devastating series of events, Job lost his possessions, his servants, his children and eventually his health. He grieved. He complained. He wanted God to answer him:

“I cry unto thee, and thou dost not hear me: I stand up, and thou regardest me not.”

(Job 30:20, KJV)

But there was something Job could not see.

We, the readers, know about the conversation between God and Satan in Chapters 1 and 2. We know that God permitted Job to be tested and placed limits around what Satan could do.

On earth, going about his business, Job knew none of this.

He could see his losses. He could feel his pain. But he could not see what was happening beyond his own circumstances.

How was Job supposed to know what was going on?

And neither do we always know what is happening on God's side when we are living through our own unanswered prayers.

Eventually, God spoke to Job, and by Chapter 42 his circumstances were restored.

But Job could not see Chapter 42 while he was living through the earlier chapters of his story.

Neither do we know, like Job, whether there are still other chapters of pain before the restoration.

Sometimes we pray and wait, not knowing if or when the answer will come.

When the Answer Is No

Samuel grieved over Saul after God rejected Saul as king.

Samuel mourned for him until God said:

“How long wilt thou mourn for Saul, seeing I have rejected him from reigning over Israel?”

(1 Samuel 16:1, KJV)

Samuel's grief did not change the decision.

Then there is an even more explicit example in Jeremiah.

God told Jeremiah concerning the people:

“Do not pray for the well-being of this people.”

(Jeremiah 14:11)

God went further. Even though they fasted and cried out, He said He would not listen to their cry or accept their offerings. (Jeremiah 14:11–12)

There was no delay to interpret here. The answer was no.

These are only a few examples. Throughout Scripture, many more stories show prayers answered quickly, answers that came in unexpected ways, answers that required waiting—and prayers where the answer sought did not come.

Which brings us to the difficult question:

Why?

Why does one person pray and receive an answer almost immediately, while another waits?

Why does one person receive more than they asked for, while another receives an answer they did not want?

The Bible does give us some reasons why prayers may not be answered. Scripture speaks about asking amiss or with wrong motives (James 4:3), asking while doubting (James 1:6), and sin and disobedience affecting prayer (Psalm 66:18; Proverbs 21:13).

But what about the times when none of these explains what happened?

What about the person who prayed in faith? The person who loved God? The person whose life demonstrated the power of God, who believed completely that God could intervene—and still the answer they prayed for did not come?

Perhaps this is where we encounter one of the mysteries of our Christian life:

Why does God answer one prayer immediately, delay another and seemingly refuse another altogether?

Sometimes, we simply do not know.

And perhaps Job's story gives us something important to remember here. Job did not know what was happening beyond what he could see.

Neither do we.

But what we know is that God tells us:

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

(Isaiah 55:8–9, KJV)

Sometimes, after all the questions have been asked, only God knows.

What Does This Mean for Us?

Perhaps faith is easier when the answer comes before we have finished praying, as it did for Abraham's servant.

It is much harder when we are standing where Job stood and saying:

“I cry unto thee, and thou dost not hear me.”

But the Bible does not leave us without hope in these times. Even when we are hurting and disappointed, Scripture reminds us that the Lord is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18); that even through the darkest valley, He is with us (Psalm 23:4); that He remains “a strong hold in the day of trouble” (Nahum 1:7); and that His mercies and compassion do not fail but are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22–23).

And one of the greatest reassurances in the Bible is about His love for us:

“For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

(Romans 8:38–39, KJV)

Nothing can separate us from His love.

Not the delay.

Not the silence.

Not the answer we did not want.

Not even the circumstances we cannot understand.

These Scriptures do not say that we will never experience heartbreak or that we will never walk through a valley. They tell us that even at the point of our deepest disappointment, God is there.

For He said:

“When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee…”

(Isaiah 43:2, KJV)

Reflection

As you go about your day, reflect on God's love, care and compassion through the challenges.

Ask yourself:

1. How has God helped me through some of the most difficult situations in my life?

   
   

2. How can I hold on to the promises of His comfort and help in times when I don't understand?

   
   

3. Can I keep my eyes on Him even through the pain?

   
   

May the God of all comfort, the Father of compassion, who comforts us in all our troubles, bring us peace and mercy even when we still have questions.

In Jesus' name.

Happy Tuesday!